[Liveblog] The End of the World
21st of December, 2012. Doomsday. Will we go down together today, or not? That’s the question that has kept our minds occupied since the very beginning of the Mayan Calendar.
In this Liveblog we will keep you up to date till the end of time* on the end of the world.
*Disclaimer: If the end of the world doesn’t happen on the 21st of December, 2012, we might stop before the world ends.
Update 20th of December, 2012, 23.50:
While in parts of the world it’s already the 21st of December, we still have to wait for about ten minutes here in the Netherlands. For the sake of laziness, we’ll assume the Mayan Calendar used our Dutch GMT+1 Time Zone. If they want us to have a quick and painless ending, chances are we are living our last ten minutes on planet earth. We wish you a pleasant and painless end of the world!
If you want to get insurance to help cover the costs of the end of the world? You still can for 9 mire minutes with Dutch insurance company Centraal Beheer Achmea, who came up with an insurance policy which will cover any damage due to total destruction of Planet Earth.
Update 21st of December, 2012, 00:00:
Here we are. 21st of December, 2012. Accourding to reliable sources, Planet Earth has not been destroyed yet. This is remarkable, as in New Zealand it’s been Doomsday for 12 hours already. More information will follow shortly.
Today’s program has leaked trough Twitter. Time to go to bed soon, as it’s going to be an early day today:
DOOMSDAY 21st of December, 2012
05:00: Waking up Earths Civilization with Air Raid
06:00: Arrival of the Mayans
07:00: Arrival of the Extraterrestrials
08:00: Arrival of the president of the G8-Summit
09:00: Arrival of all saints, infadels and torturers
10:00: Anthem of the end of the world: “Highway to Hell”
10:30: Welcoming word by the Pope
11:45: Lunch break with sandwiches
13:00: UN-meeting about the end of the world.
15:00: Moment of silence
15:05: Start of public ceremony
17:00: Start of buffet
18:00: Departure of Mayans
19:00: Fireworks and Football match Brazil – the rest of the World
21:00: Ascension of Archangels, those declared holy and other Angels
22:00: End of ceremony (Bar opened) FREE BEER!
23:30: Handing out of 3D Glasses
24:00: FALL OF PLANET EARTH (including “The Final Countdown”)
After this: End of the world afterparty!
Update 01:23: If you read this, on doomsday, on the internet, on a website which publishes articles like this; you probably are still a virgin. There is some hope and a pickup suggestion! On our forums, user Marble1 claims she’s both female and still a virgin! Use that to your advantage. PS: Rape is not classified under “use that to your advantage”.
In Central America, where the Mayans lived, doomsday has arrived as well. As for the Netherlands, everything seems to be fine. The sun is rising, dialy routines, and (this might be the biggest miracle happening today), even the trains are running on time!
According to the predictions of Nostradamus, the end of times will come if the ‘number of circles’ of the ‘dancing horse’ becomes nine. It should be very clear, without a doubt, that this is about the song Gangnam Style, a Youtube hit video which is about to hit the 1 billion (1 + nine zeroes/circles). Prepare thyselves!
At this brief moment, it’s 21st of December all across the world. The end of the world is expected any moment now. As soon as planet earth is destroyed, this very spot is the first place you’ll read more about it.
According to forum user NaturalScience, the world will end somewhere between 12:11 and 12:19. According to him, the milky way, the sun, the moon and planet Earth will be in one straight line. We doubt wether this is true, but as soon as we are all extingt. We will bring you up to date about it.
This afternoon t 12:10 we reported that the world would end between 12:11 and 12:19. As for now, this has not happened. Our editors feel the need to correct the prior reports on this. We regret this situation and will take proper measures to prevent this from happening in the future. Our apologies for the inconvenience. In any event of the end of the world still happening, we will bring you up to date about it.
Between Haarlem and Voorhout there are no trains because of a collission with a car. According to perhaps reliable sources, this could be the beginning of the end of the world.
Local Radio station Webfm has a reporter live at the end of the world. At this moment, he reports that the world has not ended yet.
Conspiracy website Niburu reports that on images by NASA, if interpreted right, it shows that a “large area of darkness” is heading our way fast. It seems like we will be in the dark for three days. Either that, or it’s a mistake by some nerd behind a computer. We don’t judge.
News website news.com.au has published a list with strategical tips for those who survived the apocalype.
Moments ago, the song Gangnam Style passed 1.000.000.000 views on youtube. We reported about the nine circles of the dancing horse before, but apparently they are no reason to help this piece of rock to it’s end. Isn’t that nice?
Source: FOK.nl – [Live] Einde van de wereld, an article written by me, and kept up to date by both me and several others.
This article was translated and republished on 19-02-2016.